Yeah, Ron Artest Isn’t Nuts

Is This The Best Mashup Yet?

The NBA- Where Amazing Stories Happen

Famed porn actress and once Gubernatorial hopeful for the state of California, Marey Carey has a way of making it around professional locker rooms. Let’s just say, she spreads’em easier then jock itch (just click here) . Her latest target, Dwight Howard of Orlando Magic. But, surprisingly Carey didn’t sleep with Howard. In fact, according to Carey, the NBA’s defensive player was the one who pursued her and she dissed him for a member of get this, N Sync. Courtesy of Sports by Brooks:

“Dwight’s a cool guy. For a month, we like talked on the phone, and he was always trying to give me prayers to get me out of porn and give me Bible verses to read. So then, I was going to go visit him when I was in Orlando, but I went over to this other guy’s house instead, Chris Kirkpatrick from N’Sync.  And then Dwight started calling, and calling, and calling me, because he knew I was with Chris Kirkpatrick, so eventually at 3 in the morning, Chris was like don’t answer Dwight’s calls.

“I get a text from Dwight at 3 in the morning — I’m outside Chris’s house. I’m like oh my god, what do I do? I was like, I got Dwight here and I got Chris in the other room and I’m talking to them back and forth. So finally I had to just pull Dwight in the bathroom and tell him he needs to go home. I was like I’m really sorry, I really like you, but this isn’t the time or place. When I pull him in the bathroom, he pulls his pants down, I was like, whooa. Yeah, and so I ran and started screaming …

“Well if it wasn’t for the Chris thing at the time, I really liked Dwight and maybe I would have furthered this. But I was at the guy’s house I was dating so it was inappropriate. So he totally thought he totally offended me. So I saved — he and I used to talk on instant messenger, on AOL — so he was apologizing; ’sorry, that was out of character for me,’ blah blah blah. I saved all the instant messages and I’ve been putting them all in a book. So I’ve got a lot of evidence. I’ve got an evidence file.”

Rasheed Wallace

Jason Kidd’s Crib

I bet that Juwana is now living here, with the youngest know mustache grower TJ Kidd. I wonder if Bob Ryan still wants to smack her?

Random Musings about the NBA Finals

After last night’s choke job by the Tragic I would like to pass along some random musings about these predictably lame finals.

• I didn’t watch the OT because I knew that the Magic would lose.  Sad, very sad.
• His name is “Dwight” Howard – not Du-White or Dowight.  This is so aggrivating hearing this over and over again.
• Mark Jackson loves crappy cliches and leads into commercials like he is doing a movie preview.  I can see why no team wants him to coach.
• Mike Brown must be the worst coach in the league because he got embarrassed by Stan van who is now embarrassing himself in the Finals. Shaq may be right with the Master of Panic comment.
• Trevor Ariza has played himself into a majorly overpaid contract so has Hedo T.
• If Dwight Howard, had Kendrick Perkins‘ post game he would be unstoppable.  Yes, you read that right, Kendrick Perkins‘ post game.  I have never seen someone so bad in the post since Travis Knight.
• Kobe, stop grinding your teeth like that, it reminds me of the face you made when you had that white chick in the Denver hotel room.  CREEPY!
• To all you Laker fans out there, do you still think the Lakers would have beaten the Celtics last year if Mark Blount Andrew Bynum played?

The Truth is Back

After looking like a Zombie for the first 3.5 Quarters last night, The Truth stepped up like we knew he would.  It just looks like he is injured or running on fumes. 

A few other comments from last night’s game. 

• The Celtics continue to miss too many shots
• The Bulls, like all teams should be, are great at foul shooting.  It has kept them in the season.
• Doc has finally given up on Mikki Moore, quite possibly the worst player in the league. 
• I always wondered what Perk could do if he played 35-40 minutes a night.  I hope his Game 5 performance was an indicator of his potential value. 
• The Refs let virtually everything go last night except all the touch fouls on Ray Allen?  I thought that was bizarre, that he and Perk switched rolls for the night. 
• Karma struck that oaf Brad Miller in his snaggletooth at the end of that game.  He was trying to be an instigator all night, the basketball gods made him pay. 
• Tony Allen is valueless.  He is so easy to up fake.  He is not a good defender, quite contrary to this wierd belief that athleticism = good defender.  I hope to goodness that Tony Allen doesn’t ever play crunch time minutes again. 
• How disturbing was Ben Gordon’s nut grab at the end of Game 4?  He was squeezing his package soooo bad that it started to look like a bondage film.
• Let’s hope the C’s can close this out tomorrow and get some rest for those tired legs. 

Tracy McGrady’s Crib

With the 56th Pick in the 2009 NBA Draft…

The Charlotte Bobcats select Tyler Hansborough from North Carolina. Great College Career, one of the best ever, but welcome to Josh McRobertsville.  Sorry Physco T.

The Legend of Gino

This is the only Gino that SOS will mention from here on out.

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