Man Tries To Schultz His Junk

This is 29-year-old Skylar Deleon (no relation to Jermiel), who has been charged with murdering an Arizona couple at sea. However, while bored and awaiting his trial Deleon felt the urge to cut off his penis.  But, there is some good news to come out of this:

Deleon, 29, was hospitalized after the March 13 incident. His penis was reattached and he was returned to jail the next day, said Damon Micalizzi, a spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department.

“Somehow he got a hold of a razor blade and tried to saw off his penis, but didn’t complete the job,” Micalizzi said.

Does he know how boring prison would have been with no penis? I mean what else are you suppose to do? What did he expect to come of this? Did he think they would let him free? Out of all body parts, the penis would be the last thing I would cut off. I’d be willing to lose a finger or a toe, but my penis… no frigging way! How did he expect to go the bathroom. I don’t think even Flomax could fix that. Trying to Bobbitt yourself doesn’t help you defense for insanity, it only makes you look weird, and a better chance of get pile-drived up the corn hole.

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